Disjointed!

I am a mother first
And a wife second.

A sibling first
And a daughter second.

My trust is given
My respect is earned.

I talk
I gossip.

I cry
I grieve.

Friends come
Some Friends may go
Some stayed true.

I learn
I forgive.

Everything has a reason
All is in a season.

Winter
Spring
Summer
Or Fall
Let it be a season for all.

Work! What?

A bane to few
A boon to many
Mine is both
As a SAHM would say.

A dilly dally kind of day
Filled with laughter and sun
I reckon this
A day worthy in the category of fun.

As the sun sets
Mama gets busy
Dinner and baths
Kiddies were happy.

As I put my babies to sleep
A memory sprung
Drop dead deep
Hands wrung.

Oh deadline.
A forgotten deadline.

Scrambled to write
Research, read and write.
Minds all askew
Looking for the right thing to do.

Of all the things to happen
Laptop stop workin.
Oh how fate twists and turns
Giving up room for boons.

Context of me!

Anticipation.
Elation.

Counting the days,
Crossing out all the greys.

Clock ticking
Rhyme with the knitting.

Are we there yet?
Have you cast the net?

Oh It is near
And My bones are a shiverin.

Mama said it should have been
Sibling said it might have been.

And I,

I have jump in.

With eyes wide open
The ball start rollin.
And Let there be union.

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My Boys of Summer

Winter is over
And Spring has sprung.
My boys of summer
Back from where they’ve gone.

News are abuzz
Few men dared predict
My boys of summer
Rarin to go and a simmer.

Opening day
With pompoms on hand
Decked out centre
Fans and band

Opening night
Loud and noisy
Armed with pizza, hotdogs and beer
Only One of many
Sat on his seat quietly.

Players on field
Prayers a fieldin
A grandma can be seen smilin
Generations of fans
Chanting, yelling and screamin.

And I.

On my lonesome.
Cheered my boys of summer
With TV blaring
I rejoice their coming.

My boys of summer is back.
And what a fine day is that.

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Photo credits MLB.

Options

I woke up sweaty,
No one bothered to check on me.

Pillows wet from my tears
Blankets tangled up in my ears.

Did you ever bother asking me what happened?
All you did is make me appear sullen, and bummed.

I am but a child.

I am your daughter,
Just like my sister.
But are you really my mother?

I was sick and tired,
Tired and sick.
A burning hole in my chest.

I beg for mercy.
I cried for help.
Nothing but a darkened street.

I dreamed.
I escaped.
Tangled vines still creeped.

Roots that are far reaching,
Stop me from moving.

Illusions.
Allusions.
Emotions.

Made a tidy pile of options.

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Tests, Examinations

Life is like a test. There is a multiple choice, enumeration, essay and fill in the blanks.

I choose to answer first the multiple choice.  Every morning when you wake up, you can choose either to be happy or sad.  And everyday I choose to wake up happy.  No matter what happened during the night.  I may grumble a bit but eventually when consciousness kicks in, so does the happiness. The happiness that God deemed me worthy enough to have another day to spend with my children and my husband.  Another day to enjoy life’s blessings.  But this is not always so.  There will always be days that I’ll wake up miserable no matter how my kiddies or my husband tries to make me smile. But still it was my choice and I stand by it.

Another part of the test is enumeration.  Counting off the graces and blessings that I received from God. The immeasurable joys that I get each and every day with my children and the unfathomable love that I have for my family and God.

Essay.  My favorite part.  I get to ramble on and on and on and on of everything and anything under the sun.  Sometimes I might dwell on one specific topic for the rest of the day, week or month but oftentimes, it changes by the minute or hour.

And lastly, the fill in the blanks.  No other explanation just fill in the blanks.  I get to start the sentence and you just fill in the blanks.  People who knew me or claimed to know me might be able to give a near to or a correct answer.  But there is no right or wrong.  For the answers depends entirely on your perception of me. The same applies on reverse. You can start the ball rolling and let me finish the sentence.

Everyday is a test.  Either we pass or fail but no matter what we just got to live life the way we see it best.

It’s A Dance off!

How lovely to see my 10 month old dance. He can’t walk nor stand on his without support yet but man, can he dance and do some fancy foot work. A little bit later big sis did some “Hot Dog, Hot Dog..” dance then started twirling and thus our Papa quips “Oh no! You want to study ballet?” Haha.

Daughter is barely 25 months and son is almost 11 months but I can see that our life would be one big happy dance.

I love you my lovelies. Mama is so proud of you!

Good Morning?

Time check is 4:19am. Good morning.

The night routine started fine. We had a very late dinner because our dear Papa had an outside work event to work for.

***Let me just clarify that what we termed a late night is 10:00 to 12:00mn.

Dinner done, off to cleaning up the kiddies and tidying up the kitchen and whatnots.

We were in bed by 11:00 and our daughter has to put all her dollies and stuffed animals to sleep first before we can pray and sing and unwind.

By 12:30 we were all fast asleep when I heard the first sign of what my night  erh dawn would be like. Daughter whimpers. The kind of whimpering that has a lot of gas.

She went back to sleep without much fuss.

1:45 am and it begun. She cried, that kind of cry where fat tears continually rolls down the cheeks. She has  stuffy nose. Son woke up and screamed and cried his protest. Total chaos at 1:55am.

While I was attending to my daughter who just wont stop crying, Papa is so busy shushing his son. Well of course as expected didn’t stop crying until I carried him as well. 2:00am and 2 kids in my arms, CRYING their eyes out.

Son and daughter decided to stop crying for a bit. Hand the son to a very sleepy Papa, the tears started flowing again. Mama off to get milk for sis.  Back to bed, all is at peace. Gave milk and coryzalia and some Vicks vaporub to daughter and son the pacifier.

Ah peace and quiet. Sleep. NOT!

I got up and sat in front of my mini work station in our bedroom and I have been awake since then. I did some VA work, answered some emails, applied to a job advert, read some more emails and research a website where I will be doing an article soon.

Went back to bed. Closed eyes for 15 minutes or so. Nothing.

Switched on phone and wrote this. It’s 4:41am. And in a few minutes i’ll hear hubby’s alarm which by the way was outside. He moved to the couch so he can get some sleep. Poor papa. :(.

So whomever thought that motherhood is easy, I say think again.

It does and will not stop, you know! 🙂

Thanks for being with me. Good morning again. As soon as this post is up, I will be switching off phone and start counting sheeps.

No sleep? You a Mom?

24 Hours, At Home

Yes I am home all day and has no income to speak of, so do you have a problem with that?

Let me just describe a 24 hour period of my life and let us start at 6:00 pm.

6:00 pm – Naptime for the the little boy.

7:00 pm – cook and/or feed Big sis.

7:30 pm – wake son and give him dinner.

8:00 pm – clean up big sis and get her ready for bedtime.

8:00 to 9:00 pm – Mama dinner

9:00 to whenever my daughter deemed it the right time for her sleep – bedtime routine

11:00 pm give or take a few minutes – wash dishes, bottles and clean up living room.

12:00 to whenever Mama’s done with whatever work back log she has.

1:30 to whenever insomnia has had enough with me. I sleep.

3:00 am – milk or something.

4:30 am – my husband is up and is getting ready for work.  It is either I am too zonked out to say bye or still up because of Mr. Insomnia.

6:00 am – milk or something.

7:45 am – son stirring. sleep.

8:00 to 9:30 am – bleary eyed. In bed. either just playing with kiddos or kiddos just woke up. It really does not matter what comes first as usually when son stirred at 7:45, big sis wakes up.

10:00 am – breakfast. Mama do some online work.

11:00 to 1:00 pm  – playtime or TV time depending on mama’s stress level for the day. Mama tries hard to do some more work.

1:30 to 4:00 pm – naptime. tidy up. eat lunch.

4:00 to 6:00 pm – play time/TV time.

So my friend that’s how my regular day looks like. It does seems like I do not accomplish anything. It seems like what I do all day is just sit and watch my kiddies and that’s like nothing.

I stay home all day. No income.

Thank you for noticing my inadequacies.

 

 

Sibling Love

It is Sunday and our family day.  We had forgone Family day’s for a couple of weeks as our Papa has to work but now all is back to normal.  I love our Sunday afternoons when kiddies had their naps at different times thus allowing Mama bonding time with whomever is up and awake.

Today was a good day.  I bonded first with my son as he had his nap when we were in church so when we got home, it was only big sis who has fallen asleep while i laid down with them.  I had such a great time with my son.  I crawled with him.  We danced.  I sang a song and he danced.  We practiced walking.  Rode his trusty old jeep/walker.  And lastly we ate.  We had Cheerios and some Mum-Mums.

And big sis woke up.  So son and daughter played till Mama was cross eyed.  To see sibling love at playtime is a wondrous feeling. Mama felt so blessed.

Today is also Palm Sunday.  A very important day and the homily was reliving the Passion of Christ.

There is so much to be thankful for and there is so much to ask but by far the thanksgiving outweighs the needs and wants.  Thank you Lord for all the blessings.  May your healing power heal my loved ones and may your Love comfort all.

This I write in Jesus name.