I have Two Hands



It is Done!

It is done! The deed is done!

Today will forever be special.

Time stood still as memories of the years past flashes by and realized that one was created for one specific person.  Indeed there is a right time for us.

We were born miles apart from each other.  Each took a different path but an almost parallel life.

Grew up to be entirely separate but synchronized.  Each had been hurt, broken and left bleeding not only once but a lot times.

A cynic. A libertine. An opposing poles but entirely similar.

Gambler. Thinker. Risk taker.

May we have done it backwards but I am glad.

Glad that it is over. Glad that now it is complete.

The questions will be muted.

The reason has sufficed and everything is in perspective.

Somebody might not be happy but everybody is ecstatic.

The planets might have aligned for us years ago, but it is only now that the papers have been signed and pictures have been taken.

The evidence will never be contested.

I am yours as you are mine.

And we are mighty fine.


The Day!

The Day!

Tests, Examinations

Life is like a test. There is a multiple choice, enumeration, essay and fill in the blanks.

I choose to answer first the multiple choice.  Every morning when you wake up, you can choose either to be happy or sad.  And everyday I choose to wake up happy.  No matter what happened during the night.  I may grumble a bit but eventually when consciousness kicks in, so does the happiness. The happiness that God deemed me worthy enough to have another day to spend with my children and my husband.  Another day to enjoy life’s blessings.  But this is not always so.  There will always be days that I’ll wake up miserable no matter how my kiddies or my husband tries to make me smile. But still it was my choice and I stand by it.

Another part of the test is enumeration.  Counting off the graces and blessings that I received from God. The immeasurable joys that I get each and every day with my children and the unfathomable love that I have for my family and God.

Essay.  My favorite part.  I get to ramble on and on and on and on of everything and anything under the sun.  Sometimes I might dwell on one specific topic for the rest of the day, week or month but oftentimes, it changes by the minute or hour.

And lastly, the fill in the blanks.  No other explanation just fill in the blanks.  I get to start the sentence and you just fill in the blanks.  People who knew me or claimed to know me might be able to give a near to or a correct answer.  But there is no right or wrong.  For the answers depends entirely on your perception of me. The same applies on reverse. You can start the ball rolling and let me finish the sentence.

Everyday is a test.  Either we pass or fail but no matter what we just got to live life the way we see it best.

Good Morning?

Time check is 4:19am. Good morning.

The night routine started fine. We had a very late dinner because our dear Papa had an outside work event to work for.

***Let me just clarify that what we termed a late night is 10:00 to 12:00mn.

Dinner done, off to cleaning up the kiddies and tidying up the kitchen and whatnots.

We were in bed by 11:00 and our daughter has to put all her dollies and stuffed animals to sleep first before we can pray and sing and unwind.

By 12:30 we were all fast asleep when I heard the first sign of what my night  erh dawn would be like. Daughter whimpers. The kind of whimpering that has a lot of gas.

She went back to sleep without much fuss.

1:45 am and it begun. She cried, that kind of cry where fat tears continually rolls down the cheeks. She has  stuffy nose. Son woke up and screamed and cried his protest. Total chaos at 1:55am.

While I was attending to my daughter who just wont stop crying, Papa is so busy shushing his son. Well of course as expected didn’t stop crying until I carried him as well. 2:00am and 2 kids in my arms, CRYING their eyes out.

Son and daughter decided to stop crying for a bit. Hand the son to a very sleepy Papa, the tears started flowing again. Mama off to get milk for sis.  Back to bed, all is at peace. Gave milk and coryzalia and some Vicks vaporub to daughter and son the pacifier.

Ah peace and quiet. Sleep. NOT!

I got up and sat in front of my mini work station in our bedroom and I have been awake since then. I did some VA work, answered some emails, applied to a job advert, read some more emails and research a website where I will be doing an article soon.

Went back to bed. Closed eyes for 15 minutes or so. Nothing.

Switched on phone and wrote this. It’s 4:41am. And in a few minutes i’ll hear hubby’s alarm which by the way was outside. He moved to the couch so he can get some sleep. Poor papa. :(.

So whomever thought that motherhood is easy, I say think again.

It does and will not stop, you know! 🙂

Thanks for being with me. Good morning again. As soon as this post is up, I will be switching off phone and start counting sheeps.

No sleep? You a Mom?

24 Hours, At Home

Yes I am home all day and has no income to speak of, so do you have a problem with that?

Let me just describe a 24 hour period of my life and let us start at 6:00 pm.

6:00 pm – Naptime for the the little boy.

7:00 pm – cook and/or feed Big sis.

7:30 pm – wake son and give him dinner.

8:00 pm – clean up big sis and get her ready for bedtime.

8:00 to 9:00 pm – Mama dinner

9:00 to whenever my daughter deemed it the right time for her sleep – bedtime routine

11:00 pm give or take a few minutes – wash dishes, bottles and clean up living room.

12:00 to whenever Mama’s done with whatever work back log she has.

1:30 to whenever insomnia has had enough with me. I sleep.

3:00 am – milk or something.

4:30 am – my husband is up and is getting ready for work.  It is either I am too zonked out to say bye or still up because of Mr. Insomnia.

6:00 am – milk or something.

7:45 am – son stirring. sleep.

8:00 to 9:30 am – bleary eyed. In bed. either just playing with kiddos or kiddos just woke up. It really does not matter what comes first as usually when son stirred at 7:45, big sis wakes up.

10:00 am – breakfast. Mama do some online work.

11:00 to 1:00 pm  – playtime or TV time depending on mama’s stress level for the day. Mama tries hard to do some more work.

1:30 to 4:00 pm – naptime. tidy up. eat lunch.

4:00 to 6:00 pm – play time/TV time.

So my friend that’s how my regular day looks like. It does seems like I do not accomplish anything. It seems like what I do all day is just sit and watch my kiddies and that’s like nothing.

I stay home all day. No income.

Thank you for noticing my inadequacies.



Sibling Love

It is Sunday and our family day.  We had forgone Family day’s for a couple of weeks as our Papa has to work but now all is back to normal.  I love our Sunday afternoons when kiddies had their naps at different times thus allowing Mama bonding time with whomever is up and awake.

Today was a good day.  I bonded first with my son as he had his nap when we were in church so when we got home, it was only big sis who has fallen asleep while i laid down with them.  I had such a great time with my son.  I crawled with him.  We danced.  I sang a song and he danced.  We practiced walking.  Rode his trusty old jeep/walker.  And lastly we ate.  We had Cheerios and some Mum-Mums.

And big sis woke up.  So son and daughter played till Mama was cross eyed.  To see sibling love at playtime is a wondrous feeling. Mama felt so blessed.

Today is also Palm Sunday.  A very important day and the homily was reliving the Passion of Christ.

There is so much to be thankful for and there is so much to ask but by far the thanksgiving outweighs the needs and wants.  Thank you Lord for all the blessings.  May your healing power heal my loved ones and may your Love comfort all.

This I write in Jesus name.

DIY – My First Prayer Booklet

It’s been a couple of weeks now that my daughter does not want to pray with us.  As our bedtime routine apart from the bedtime stories, Angel of God is a big part of it and now every time we start doing the sign of the cross, a prelude to the actual prayer, she starts screaming.  To make her interested again I am making this Do-It-Yourself prayer booklet.

I am using MS Word for the lay out as I am much more adept in it than, say Publisher and the angel images that I used are all from the internet, so credit goes to whomever drew these wonderful angel colouring images.

I have been at it since this morning and so far I have 75% success rate.

75% Success

75% Success

Above is a screen capture using MS Word Snipping Tool.  I used a 2 column lay out  and plan on just cutting it half and  using a yarn to sew the edge and make a little book.  I thought that yarn is colourful and will make it more attractive to my 2 year old but I remembered how much fun she had untangling the balloon string from where we tied it, so change of plans.  Now I have to redo the lay out and make it so in a way that I will just fold it to form the little booklet.  So here’s to another hour of lay outing.  Skills are a bit rusty so it is taking a long time. Whew~

angel screencap_final

The above image is what I ended up printing.  Considering the fact that my 2 year old won’t really have any idea on the aesthetic, let alone that 2 column lay out that I made, I opt for this one- whole page print out.  Bigger pictures, more space to colour, much more fun.



Celeste, The Two Year Old

I have been saying all along that our beloved toddler is a picky eater and now that she’s two I can finally give her some supplements.

Going through the supplements section in the pharmacy left me  with a headache. I am telling you there is A LOT to choose from.  Being a meticulous mother that I am (im sure all mothers are!) I went through all the different kinds of childrens vitamins.   Read the ingredients and the list of vitamins and minerals like I have all the time in the world.  I finally settled on 1-A-Day Flintstones Gummy Bears. I started giving it to her the day after she turned two and she likes it. A lot. I have resorted to hiding the bottle and put a reminder on my phone to make me remember. Apparently she likes it a lot that she’d climbed the dining table just to get the “yummy”.

Aside from that we have decided that it is the time to wean her from her “cici” (pacifier.) A few sleepless nights, middle of the nights meltdowns, naptime crying jags and some hugs asking for “cici”.  We are almost there.  I can see the finish line.

To avoid tempting her, I have also taken it away from our 10month old.  Our little boy uses it only if big sis is not around.

These and more makes up the story of our two year old.  I love that she is communicating well. She’s picking up words left and right. Has established her own morning routine: kiss mama, say hi to Thirdie, hand mama the diaper and look for the bird outside the window.  Pretty soon she’ll be asking to go out to meet friends.

Ah beautiful toddler. How boring mama and papa’s life would have been.

I love you. Don’t grow too fast on me.

Thank you Lord for our daughter!


Writing, Sleep and Migraines

I miss writing.

I have been constantly occupied with mommy duties lately that by the end of the day, I just zonked out.

I miss my “me” time too.

A couple of weeks now our adorable toddler kept on having night terrors. It was gone for sometime but returned now with a vengeance. It not only happen during nighttime but on nap time as well.  It has come to a point that when i lie down with her, I am scared to move.  Because any little movement will make her half awake and thus  trigger uncontrollable shaking and crying. During the night I lost count of how many times I get up, to console her.  I can’t really do anything but I have to get up and watch her trashing around to make sure that she’s not going to hurt herself.   My limit is 5 minutes if it goes more than that, then I wake her up by washing her hands in cold water or her feet.  It does not wake her up immediately but after a couple of seconds she becomes concious of what I am doing and would politely say “No, Mama!”

Most of the time all the ruckus of big sis will not matter to lil bro. A bomb would go off and baby boy would still be sleeping. Noise don’t matter much to baby boy but try to move him from bed to crib or crib to bed then you got one screaming baby in your hands.

Basically that’s how we spend our nights that by the time it’s daylight mama is nursing a headache.

Headaches is getting so bad that I am contemplating of seeing our family doctor. It sometimes develop to full blown migraines and if not migraine I get all dizzy and my eyes hurt so bad and everything gets blurry.  Tylenol helps, so I have become a Tylenol popping person.

My husband has been great. On top of working hard, he makes sure that I can have a quiet moment even for just 30 blissful minutes. 

I know that this is just temporary and my baby girl’s nightmare will go away. And I know also that my body is telling me to start taking care of it.  With doctors appointment looming, I hope that there is nothing wrong with me and it is just the constant lack of sleep that is causing all this migraines.

There is a reason for everything and God will provide. I raise all my worries to you Oh Lord. Thank you.